Thursday, November 8, 2012

I am SHOUTING Out Against Bullying and Hate!

Hi there!  


Today I have a manicure with meaning.  It is too bad we still have to fight intolerance in this century, but here it still is!

I have joined with a group of bloggers and linked up our purple manicures to show support for the NO H8 movement.  If you like, you are invited to do the same with the inlinkz tool below!  

This post began about "cuticle" bullying, but it is also about every action on the bullying spectrum, from online anonymous bullying to getting right up in someone's grill.  The online bullying we now see in the nail polish community is not unique, unfortunately.  Just recently I read of a young girl who killed herself after being bullied on facebook, and this was not the first time I have heard of this happening.

I am addressing this topic now because recently a group of bloggers has formed a coalition intended to intimidate and bully other bloggers.  They call it the Bloggers For Cuticle Cleaning Coalition or some such  crap.

So, to respond, I am joining with a larger group honoring those who are against bullying by wearing purple on their nails today as part of a No H8 movement.  (I did my nails in China Glaze No Plain Jane just for this day.  It is a purple/lavennder/pink/beigey duochrome metallic, I like it!)





I had heard about some of my blogging buddies being bullied in a facebook group by this group.  That made me mad, but I didn't want to inject myself into the situation.  But now that they have publicly identified themselves, I will not stay silent any longer.

Unbelievably, this "cuticle police" coalition has ganged up and criticized these people for their manicures, and their personal grooming, and personal online dairies. Now, they have been so brazen as to identify themselves and even put a handy logo on each of their blogs.  I won't reproduce it here because it is so ugly.

This situation has upset me very much.  You see, I have been the target of bullies myself.

I moved to a new town, I knew no one here when I moved in.  I tried to make efforts to make friends, unfortunately for me, I tried to make friends with a bully.  I was completely stunned when I was verbally abused and told I should not have bought a house in "her" neighborhood!

It is her uninformed opinion that she should be able to decide who can purchase a home near hers!    I cannot explain how disturbing this situation was to me.    I was in a bad place before this situation, due to trying life circumstances in the previous six months, and this situation spiraled me into one of the worst places I have ever been. 

I wish I could explain to you what this was like for me.   I only hope that when this person moves to their next new home, and they don't know anyone, that they have a karmic awakening.  : )


PEACE through NAIL POLISH

The worst thing about a bully like this, is when they are aware that their intimidating tactics are destroying another person's peace of mind, and they KEEP DOING IT!  These people are so sick inside, they cannot even recognize their behavior for what it is, vicious and cruel mental torturing.  They will  often deny the bullying and say that it was meant to be humorous, or a joke. What they don't acknowledge is that is is not funny to make fun of things that people can not help. 


Things like disabilities, illnesses, conditions, skin color, hair color, nail shape, bad eyesight, or weight just to name a few examples.  It isn't always funny when you pick on a sensitive subject.

Bullies often think others just need to toughen up! I try, but I cannot understand the mentality of these cruel punishers, these BULLIES.

I wonder what it is that makes these people think they have the right to tell others what they  should do?  I believe it is the bullies frustration within themselves at their own failings and insecurities which causes them to lash out at others.  When they see flaws in others, or other's achievements, it makes them insecure, and then project this insecurity as anger at others, who are, ironically, in a similar situation to themselves.

I hold out hope that they will change one day, as many bullies do, once they themselves are the target of the intimidation tactics.  So until they reform, I set my phasers to IGNORE.


I say let's love instead of hate, congratulate!  It is so easy to criticize other's mistakes, it takes more effort find something constructive and supportive to say, don't you think?

Have you ever been the victim of bullying?  


lovenailpolish

PS
While I am editing this, my husband is telling me he got a hate note from someone on facebook, but it was deleted because they said it had profanity in it and violated standards.  My husband is the nicest person you could hope to meet, and why some anonymous stranger had to type abusive words to him is unfathomable and infuriates me beyond belief.  But I consider the source, and have a good laugh at their expense, it is not productive to engage these types individually and respond in kind!







I am sharing the words of Amanda at amandalish.com, she writes:

Bullying is not funny. It is not cool. It is not right. And more importantly, it is not okay. 

Most of us are, thankfully, residents of countries that support tolerance and many of our families have settled in these places simply for that reason. Generations later, it is our responsibility to perpetuate that message of tolerance across our new social platforms, including the internet.

As members of the nail polish blogging community, we all share a love of beauty, color, and lacquer. Other than that, we are remarkably different: from our race to our religion to our hair color...even to our polish application techniques. To marginalize anyone because of those differences is completely unacceptable and today I take a stand against that. I refuse to allow other people's view of "normal" dictate how I behave, believe, and blog. 

In solidarity with a multitude of bloggers linked below, my purple manicure represents my proud commitment to the No H8 movement. Today, November 8, I dedicate my post to ending bullying of any kind and to encouraging diversity and tolerating imperfection among our colorful community.
StopBullying.gov
Report Cyber Bullying
National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 800.273.TALK (8255)
Eradicate H8


EDIT: I have since removed words from this post, if my words offended you I apologize, that was not my intention.  I did not intend to turn around and make anyone else feel bullied or offended, of course.  I think we can all work to grow a sense of humor about this, now you can quit commenting "anonymous" because I got the message after the first twenty times LOL!  Just stop this now.  

Love not H8!  Let's be friends now, everyone.  Peace through Polish.








32 comments:

  1. I love this post, you're rocking those nails with pride!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey there Claudia! I loved your post on this! Thank you for visiting me so much and for supporting this great cause! It means so much and helps so many! : D

      Your avatar is beautiful btw! Joined your blog today YAAY! : )

      Delete
  2. Lovely shade, thxxx for the support!

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    Replies
    1. OH you are more than welcome, thank YOU Shannara for your kindness and compassion, in joining with the NO H8rs!

      This feels so much better now, with nearly 100 members signed up today by 8:55am pacific. I am overwhelmed with new friends to meet today and I am so happy this list will be here so new bloggers can find support in the wonderful community of nail polish loving ladies and gentlemen! : )

      See you soon, I am going check your blog and follow you there!

      Delete
  3. This is amazing! To see some many people come together for a good cause. Hate & bullying need to be erraticated. Today I am going to paint my nails purple & show off my hideous cuticles! Nay Sayers shall gasp in horror when they see such a sight. But I am who I am, take it or leave it. And I won't bring others down in hopes to make them change. I'll write a blog on this later. I'm a prime example In why not to judge a book by its cover ...or cuticles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am not encouraged that hate will be eradicated. There are people that want me to die for my cuticles! Ugh...

      I am glad to see that nearly two hundred people have joined up now.

      : )Thanks for the support

      Delete
  4. I love everything you wrote about, it is time to get together as a community
    Peace n love

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  5. LOVE!! You couldn't have chosen a prettier purple for this cause. My laaaaame self totally spaced it and I'm sporting green nails today, BUT I'm totally with you all in spirit. I LOVE how many bloggers are on this list and how big this movement has gotten.

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  6. I love your post :) it's so beautiful and thoughtful (and a great mani to match!) you clearly have put a lot of heart into this post. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you, people that have such a stupid sense of entitlement astound me! I hope you're surrounded by lots of lovely friends now :) xx

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    Replies
    1. Hi Julz, I am happy to hear you liked it! Thank you for sympathy, it helps! I am happy to say I have made many new friends since then! : ) Wonderful friends that really support me now, such as yourself, lovely lady!

      Thank you for visiting me and commenting here recently. I really enjoy seeing your smiling face pop up here! : ) I am glad to have met you, and all my supportive new friends on that list up there! : )

      Kind friends like you are the cure for the damage done by bullies! : )

      Best to you Julz


      Delete
  7. Holy LOVE that color!! Not to mention it looks stunning on your nails :) I hate to hear that you were bullied and I know that more often then not we will all experience some kind of bullying at one point in our lives. I'm glad to be apart of this community that will help me rise up against bullying! I'm so happy to hear that you've overcome your bully and know that were all here to lend a helping hand when sometimes it feels like the bully is winning because here, the bully NEVER wins. Not if we have anything to do with it anyways :) Thank you for taking a stand because together, we can fight anything! :)

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    Replies
    1. Oh my goodness me this is such a wonderful response! Thank you for the sympathy and you are right, I think we all relate to being bullied. Kristine you are so kind, thank you for your super support! I got chills reading this message, you really are helping make my day sweet lady! : )
      Your friendship and support, along with my awesome polish friends in this community are what keep me so excited about blogging and give me hope that we can evolve to overcome H8 for ever, worldwide! A girl can dream right?

      Have a lovely day : )

      Delete
    2. We really all can relate to bullying unfortunately :( And awww :) I never thought I would be so excited about blogging either! I was thinking about starting a blog months before I actually did because I was so afriad of being bullied but boy am I happy I did! Polish friends like you are what really makes blogging worth it :) I know we'll all do the best we can to try to overcome H8 forever, dreams are what makes the world go round ^.^

      I hope you have a lovely day too!! :D

      Delete
    3. Yaay, : ) Thanks I am, in part thanks to you HUGS!!! I am glad you are blogging too, you are just too cute for words! : ) So glad I got to know you!

      Delete


  8. You've perpetuated this into something it shouldn't have become, and turned it into a witch hunt. The original post was humorous, but you didn't take it as such. Why would you tell anyone to look at this with a sense of humor? That's hypocrisy at its finest.

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    Replies
    1. Hello Anonymous, welcome back! YOU BULLY BITCH HOW VERY DARE YOU? FUCK YOU! I have NEVER had a hate comment on my blog like this before I spoke against you. I knew this would happen, that is your MO. Well, you messed with the wrong blogger. I can take your bullying, I have taken down much better than you before with two manicured hands behind my back, so you better just RUN. NOW. WHILE YOU CAN GET AWAY UNSCATHED. I have nothing better to do than fight your hate! I will expose you.

      You started this whole B4CC, didn't you? And now you don't like that 240 bloggers united against hate? Bwahahahaaaa

      But yet you like to post multiple hate comments here anonymously? You just proved my point so beautifully, I could never have written anything myself to show what a bully you are so convincingly. Yes, I proudly stand against hate, why do you hide for it, what are you afraid of?

      Put your identity here and discuss it like an adult or be banished by the staff here forever, don't be afraid, words can't hurt you say, or can they?

      Stop bullying me harassing me right now, mmmmk? I am hereby putting you on legal notice that if your harassment is to continue on my blog it will at that point become criminal, do you want to go there? I am going to put my nailtiger on finding your identity if this harassment continues from you, do you understand my drift?

      Now say you are sorry or buh bye!

      PIss off, wanker.

      Delete
    2. Really? You are blaming her? It shows your intellectual level. You are a hypocrite you are now bullying this little lady. You better stay away, love is in my heart, but a stone is in my hand! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17FZIncZi8Q&NR=1&feature=endscreen Remember your identity is out there, you can be found. Bully, she has protection!

      Delete
    3. I already know who you are! 99% sure of it LOL anon : )

      Delete
    4. And you don't call your response to this bullying?

      Delete
    5. How, because I defend myself ? I respond to you by ignoring you from now on! Don't come here anymore if you don't like it, get busy doing something constructive why don't you? Instead of defending bullies and bullying me!


      Buh bye!

      My Blog My Rules!

      Delete
  9. omg Lovenailpolish ...STOP. You are seriously going against everything that this movement tried to stop from happening! Stop with your threats, completely uncalled for and WAY too far

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    Replies
    1. Who are you Kristen, Banished! Be gone from my queenddom read my declaration of rights hypocrite!

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry you think I'm leaving you anonymous comments, because I am most certainly not.

      In your "Declaration of Rights," you have the following posted:

      'Speak my mind on any subject, and deliver my thoughtful and considered opinion as long as:
      It does not hurt any person's feelings'

      You've been incredibly rude to me. I've sat back and tried to not get involved, but I will not stand for someone who wishes harm on me. Threatening to post private information is just as bad as actually posting it. No one deserves that. NO ONE.

      I would greatly appreciate if you would refrain from visiting my blog. I have no use for you or your hateful speech.

      Thank you.

      Delete
    3. Ashley Eileen, what the hell are you talking about? lovenailpolish was responding about an anonymous post by someone. She never said she was going to post anyone's personal information. She said that she was going to expose the identity of the anonymous bully. Are you feeling guilty?? Interesting that YOU should comment.

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  10. I am really sad and upset that Ashley Eileen would spread lies about lovenailpolish. There is a quote: Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
    Martin Luther King, Jr.

    Doing things in darkness, behind other peoples back will turn around on you. If you do not like what is posted on this Blog, stay away, don't spread hate and lies. They will only come back to bite you. Lovenailpolish has never published anything against you on this blog and never will. Defending oneself against a bully is not bullying. Her comments to the anonymous Bully were appropriate and understandable. Enough! Let's get back to nail polish posts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not spreading any lies. I've reported her threats with all the screenshots of the comments to Blogger and they will be dealt with accordingly.

      Delete
    2. Ashley Eileen, if you read my blog you would know he is my husband. You are a real piece of work! Do you need more hugs or something? LOL

      I also have screen shots. I have your name and the slanderous comment you left currently residing on his blog, which is ironically about help with bulies. Please go now and get help for yourself. Speak with someone who loves you and get support you need to get better.

      WARNING YOU ONCE AGAIN STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME here, on my personal blog. I find your presence here unwelcome and quite distressing. Why do you lash out at those who try to spread compassion on a No H8 day?

      I am WARNING YOU AGAIN. You are going to get an online karmic awakening if you do not stop your BULLYING OF ME HERE. Do not push me any more Eileen. Just. Don't. Do IT. Are you beginning to get the picture now? Your move. I know you didn't go to blogger, that is another lie, but I will if you continue to bother me in any way, anywhere.

      Unless you publicly apologize, and admit you lied in the comments here, you are banished!

      I wish you the all the luck and karma you deserve : )

      Delete
  11. whata bitch you are

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    1. It was brave of you to anonymously comment here, I think you meant to call me a bitch. I can't be sure, I don't know what "whata" means in any language. Try again, this time don't hide your face! Show us who you are!

      I agree with you! I am the biggest BITCH you will EVER MEET. Want to know me better? Got nothing better in life to do than to keep bullying me on my no hate post?? Go get yourself some counseling STAT OR

      I have a special something special for you if you come here and continue to berate me, bully, One Order Hot Karma, Fresh, toasty and HOT KARMA custom made for you Anonymous~!

      B.eing

      I.n

      T.otal

      C.ontrol

      H.oney

      Want me to order some Karma up for you?

      Delete
  12. Really Brave, aren't we annoy us? You are a bully. Why are you coming to this Blog? Just to harass? You are nothing but a TROLL. Living in the darkness. I feel sorry for you in a pity kind of way. You are menial. Good day little person.

    ReplyDelete

I appreciate and enjoy your supportive and thoughtful comments so much! I really do love hearing what YOU think!

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