Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Hi Sweet Hearts! An Update

Hi lovely.

Just a quick update to say hi. And where is the time going? February is here already! Next thing I know it will be Easter!

I finished chemo and am trying to choose between radiation to complete my treatment or a mastectomy (I had a successful lumpectomy last year). I plan to choose very soon, it has been one of the hardest choices I have ever made. There is no right or wrong choice, only my preference, from what the doctors tell me at this point.

I have not wanted to photograph  my hands much because they were in a dry cracked condition after chemo and during the last months of 2013.  Now, five weeks after finishing chemo, the middle nail on my left hand (swatching hand) has lifted from the nail bed almost 60% down toward the base of the nail. And three others have begun to lift as well.

I just noticed this last Wednesday, after my nail felt broken.  It was solid, so I ignored it until I peeped under the nail and saw it had come apart from my finger! I do not know how it happened so fast, I did my nails one day, they were perfect, two days later I removed the polish and I could see from a slight discoloration that the nail lifted almost completely off the nail bed. I attribute this to the chemotherapy medication Taxotere, after reading reports of patients online. It is aptly named, it taxes your system and makes you want to cry, but it is better than not having the medication, in my situation. That is the theory anyway.

Happily, I am still polishing my pinkies and my toesies.  They seem to be okay so far. It is weird to open a new bottle of polish and only polish two nails, only two tiny pinkies usually now.

I am not complaining because it could be much much worse, just reporting what is going on with the nails now.

I need to have my third outpatient surgery in a year soon, to remove my chemo port. Then I hope to complete the next steps in my treatment, I have a few more, radiation or mastectomy, eight more Herceptin infusions and five years of medications.

I have seen some people indicate that cancer patients are not heroic, but I have to say I am inspired to see the courage of the other patients in treatment, they are heroic to me. It helps me so much to know that others have beaten breast cancer and other cancers, so maybe I can too..

I so hope that we can find a cure soon so no one has to die from cancer anymore.

I totally plan  to return to this photography and this blog as soon as I can manage, just to show you polish on my one pinkie or some fake nails, just to get some comparison swatches out there of some recent dupes I have acquired.